Wednesday, November 26, 2008

DAY 26! 26 days of solem, loneliness, emptiness, .. Lacking the very basic necessity of Life.. That's LOVE. and it's missing right frm the every start of this holiday. Got worst during the 1st of this month.. Should I be thankful tt my brain's maybe degenerating? or should i be thankful tt dere were somethings in my book of life history tt wasnt able to forget? For it becamee a memory, an eternal one which sticks to my heart? Like a brick sticking to cement to brick. Will my heart have the honour to stick with HERs, HER heart, with our happy moments being our cement which clamps us both together again? Being an invisible bridge tt locks us n our love together? I get what is LOVE now. See how complicated, complex it is? Will we bong back together? or will or cement turn to water which just slides off both bricks ever so easily, with tt water drifting both of us apart frm 1 another? Frm then on, the brick will have the phobia of water, cuz the experience is far to great to overcome, to move on, n even if the brick did move on, it's soul, emotions, will all b left bhind unconsiously, perhaps nt being able to retrive back again... I'll be waiting.. for the last time.. for the last time.. for my brick is already too weak to take another fall. but it wants to try n bond with your break for the very last time..
Life is a game, once fallen,game over, the end.
SIanz! Today was boring! Damn boring. i dunno why. N gosh! I was like stupidly late for work today! SUPER LATE CAN?! i dint have enough sleep, that's why! Darn! I "regained consciousness" at like 11?! When work was supposed to start at 9?! 2hrs late! i lost $10 worth of pay? Lol. Lucky jean dint probe further into my lateness. Phew. Heard Lady boss was there too today. Surprisingly, she overlooked my abscence? Were I tt unnoticable! lol. okay. reached RI at like near 12.20!? okay. tt's $17.50 worth of pay!! =(. Will have to make up for it somehow. Work longer hrs at Fish n CO?! lol.-.-''.. Work was as usual. Had to pack alot of stuffs! N alot of ppl asking me whether there was vacancy for jobs. 4 17yr old gals? lol. Looking out for them anw. LiTing left at 2? band prac i guess. I left at 4 plus for sec job at Fish n CO. Kana another injury at Ri POP. Scotchtape dispenser left a pretty nice deep cut in my left thumb? Downright pain! dah. but anws.. who cares? Just an injury. Working always holds a higher risk to injuries too. Heard some old songs which was like shocked me out? Hadnt heard those songs quite awhile, Dint noe it was like depicting maybe wat WE feel? maybe. anyway job at fish n co was as normal. Ahbu dint come anymre. Wat a giveupper. Lol. Shawn still came. but only to finish his OJE n planning to leave F&C. =/. okay. today.. did i learn any new dish? Hmm. just learn how to make seafood feast. Ehx. come to think of it. Maybe it's good thing tt shawn's leaving! Lol. I can tak over as FRYMASTER again! woots. that's my forte? Lol. today had some ... costomers! We were doing closing n clean uo already yet so many orders last min came in! wtf. Lol. Went back home le lohx. This Sundays Cheryl's bday. She invited me? lol. I was like e only sec 4 invited. wth. undecided whether to go. Will be awkard? okay. nth much. oh yahx. last min sec 1 had some NP gathering. too bad i cant turn up. was working though. but nvm. Gave it miss. That's ALL. Okay. needa sleep. 1am already. becoming mre n mre like a night bird? sleeping so late everytime.. 26 days.. i worked this long wasnt to forget her. All i wanted was to provide for her.make her happy. Okay. I'm crappy again.. Nt trusing my gut feeling anymre.. But deep down, this time, my heart's nt sensing a rejection nor an acception but.. a DUNT NOE.

the choices we make...

the IMPERFECTIONist trying to make THIS world PERFECT.

Insights.

♠ Cloud Lam ♠

蓝俊胜
9th June 1992
junshen23@hotmail.com
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