Sunday, May 31, 2009
It really pisses me off!. WTF
What am I even bothered?
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!
What the FUCK! why??
I still dont get myself!!
I FUCKING hate the WHOLE SHIT coming back to me again..
Like a toll back to my life..
I've got thru it..
How come it just wont stop haunting the hell out of me?
Why must she mean so much to me?
That I feel fucking HURT always?
I'm dulan can?; FUCKED UP!
Venise called me tday. For some unknown reason.
Asking me whether I was still working in Fish&co..
Somehw some1 in the background was talking bad abt me too.
SMACK HIM lahx, ASS, ASS, ASS.
I just felt like shooting her. She's no better.
Aiya! Fuck lahx. I dint say it out.. I was totally caught up like shit!
FUCK! haiiz.
Why does she even mean FUCKING much to me.. until this point?
It stil wont change at all. I've been trying to live my own life?
How come i just cant get it straight?! With kat, Liz, Chris, bryan, aaron, shao qing.
The whole clique together gg out n stuff.
How come she just wont be another memory which my mind can just dump it into the "recycle bin"?
WHY WHY WHY?? I'm now back to the life with full of questions on my mind.
And thi sfreakingly sucks!!
FUCK HIS MAN!!
FUCK EVRYTHING!!.
FUCK EVERY1!
FUCK THIS EARTH!!
FUCK THIS WORLD!!
FUCK THIS WHOLE FUCKING LIFE!!
IT"S SHIT!!!
the choices we make...
Saturday, May 30, 2009
This was taken from my ex blog...
I dont know..
I really dont know...
As to why.. I stil feel so hurt...
After seeing what she wrote..
I tot... I left the past at the back of me..
I did try to be a bastard to her..
ever since aft the nicholas incident..
I'm trying to make her HATE me mre..
Make her tink I'm the one trying to BREAK her relationship..
But she doesnt noes..
I;m the 1... HELPING HER..
PERSUADING nicholas..
perhaps..
I really wanted her to hate me..
to let her think this way..
but how come..
when i've achieved it..
I felt otherwise? I felt dragged down..
like gravity'spulling me FAR DOWN INTO the DEPTHS of the EARTH?
So pain so the inside...
So numb on the outside..
I dunno who I am now..
Suddenly seems to me..
that I dun even UNDERSTAND myself..
tt's scary.. Giving my ownself the creeps..
i feel like being emo already..
How come does this have so much EFFECT on me??
WHY WHY WHY??
I simply dont get it..
just feeling..
FUCKED!! haiiz.
emo world.. I wanna step into it.. let me...llllllllll
the choices we make...
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Insisting on taking pic Part 2.jpg)
Insisting on taking pic Part 3. TOOT-ness!
Insisting on taking pic Part 4
Insisting on taking pic Part 5
the choices we make...
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
the choices we make...
Sunday, May 17, 2009
17 May 09, 02:04
cloud: it's okay. nvm. forget it.. That CK is rite? I'm sarcastic okay? I'm not who I am.
17 May 09, 02:04
cloud: you dont have 2 worry. I WONT anymre. since u and tt guy considere it as being sarcastic den so be it. I was so busy. yet i still went to tagg yr blog. Hoping u werent so bored. and this was wat i gt
17 May 09, 01:59
mei en~cloud: nth matters anymore..if u don wan tag.. i wont force u
17 May 09, 01:55
cloud - Ck: If this is how u treat a gal. YOU TOTALLY ARE A BASTARD! U are not even worth being compared to a beast.
17 May 09, 01:48
mei en~ck: it's yr choice,i wont bother u anymore
17 May 09, 01:46
CK to mei en: im sry but your life is none of my business....
17 May 09, 01:41
mei en: i seriously wil go back to how i am after all these. I am tired,real tired,just let me go into a dark trap and never wake up.
17 May 09, 01:34
mei en~ck: dont make things worse
17 May 09, 01:33
CK to cloud: so? im out man.... U TOTALLY SUCKS... LAST POST....
17 May 09, 01:33
mei en~cloud: cloud,i..
17 May 09, 01:32
mei en~ck: ck,msg me
17 May 09, 01:32
cloud - CK: TT'S ALL. I'M DONE
17 May 09, 01:32
mei en~ck: i really tired of...blah
17 May 09, 01:32
CK to cloud: i didn't say anything abt that? so u r saying that alot of ppl don't like u?
17 May 09, 01:32
cloud - CK: dont let me catch u saying anything abt me again. one mre time.. YOU BETTER EAT Yr wORDS AND COME RP!
17 May 09, 01:32
mei en~ck: i am back to my old self..i wil not go msn for three mths. This time i break my promise,nxt time i wont
17 May 09, 01:31
cloud - ALL: Lsiten up.. if u all dont like me.. SAY!! come on!! dont be such hussy and criticise behind ppl's back!
17 May 09, 01:30
mei en to ck: ...
17 May 09, 01:30
CK to cloud: im so sorry.... but r u trying to be sarcastic again? ^^
17 May 09, 01:30
mei en to cloud: *also
17 May 09, 01:30
mei en to cloud: sorry alos
17 May 09, 01:30
mei en to ck: *ck
17 May 09, 01:30
cloud - CK: i'm out of this.. for her sake
17 May 09, 01:30
mei en to ck: sorry sk
17 May 09, 01:27
CK to mei en: oooooooh.... i don't like that...
17 May 09, 01:27
mei en to both: done?
17 May 09, 01:27
mei en to both: i am getting my pen knife ready
cloud - CK: AMAZINGLY
17 May 09, 01:27
cloud - CK: LOOK WHO;S TLAKING RITE NOW?
17 May 09, 01:27
cloud - CK: WOW.
17 May 09, 01:27
cloud - CK: COME LAHX. DONT HAMJI
17 May 09, 01:27
CK to cloud: who started the critising? wow....
17 May 09, 01:27
mei en to ck: haix...u al hor..want to see me die?
17 May 09, 01:26
CK to cloud: oops that for cloud
17 May 09, 01:26
mei en to cloud: i am taking out tag board after u al done
17 May 09, 01:26
cloud - CK: NO BALLS DONT COME CRITICISE PPL.. WATCH YR MOUTH!!! SMALL BOY!!17 May 09, 01:26
CK to mei en: haha... caps lock isn't gonna help u
17 May 09, 01:26
CK to mei en: i make peace n i don't break it unless it goes overboard
17 May 09, 01:26
mei en to cloud: don caps lock every word
17 May 09, 01:26
cloud - CK: DONT ACT SISSY AND CHICKEN OUT OKAY?
17 May 09, 01:25
cloud - CK: AIYA.. TALK KOK ONLY LAHX. IF NO GUTS JUST BE A MAN AND SAY!
17 May 09, 01:25
mei en to ck: ...i realli don noe wad to say
17 May 09, 01:25
cloud - CK: U THINK I SCARED OF U AHX! COME! WAN JIO FIGHT RITE COME!! U THINK U BIG AHX.
17 May 09, 01:25
CK to cloud: haha... u noe what? U suck... y would i wanna go find u? waste of time only sia.... haha
17 May 09, 01:24
mei en to cloud: pls..onegai! don scold vulgar on my blog
17 May 09, 01:24
mei en to ck: tag yr blog later
17 May 09, 01:24
mei en to ck: and u don noe i went rp now right?
17 May 09, 01:24
cloud - CK: NO BALLS DONT COME TALK KOK. CB
17 May 09, 01:23
mei en to cloud: don get angry
17 May 09, 01:23
cloud - CK: YOU GOT GUTS U COME! I'M GONNA GET IT RITE? YOU SIAD IT YRSELF WAT? WAT? NOW NO BALLS COME RP AHX!
17 May 09, 01:23
mei en to ck: hmm..u hor...
17 May 09, 01:23
CK to cloud: no one has dared to wanna fight me if they noe me... come la
17 May 09, 01:23
mei en to both: stop it!!!!!!!!!!!!
17 May 09, 01:23
CK to cloud: TP at 1pm on Mon.... i bet u cant even make it
17 May 09, 01:22
mei en to chan kang: hey..ck
17 May 09, 01:22
CK to cloud: u r really very welcome to find me
17 May 09, 01:22
CK: np
17 May 09, 01:22
mei en to chan kang: ck,don like tat
17 May 09, 01:22
mei en to chan kang: sorry
17 May 09, 01:22
CK: haha npnp come find me ba i see what will really nhappen
17 May 09, 01:22
mei en to chan kang: i am so sorry
17 May 09, 01:21
mei en to chan kang: sorry to the max
17 May 09, 01:21
mei en to chan kang: sorry
17 May 09, 01:21
mei en to chan kang: i am sorry
17 May 09, 01:20
mei en: i taking outb tag board
17 May 09, 01:20
cloud - CK: wat kbkp so much. IF U DARE!! COME FIND ME IN RP IF U HAVE THE GUTS TOO! say what I:M GONNA GET IT! come!! cb.
17 May 09, 01:20
mei en~cloud: i am gonna kill you
17 May 09, 01:20
mei en~ck: u mean who sarcastic? oh yamaha flute is not good
17 May 09, 01:19
cloud - CK: ehx CK come on lahx. U think u very good? **** OFF lahx. not happy come lahx. walan ehx. COME COME RP COME! U step fot into RP, u see what u get frm me.
17 May 09, 01:19
CK: lucky i alrd used to it
17 May 09, 01:18
CK: ok lor... another sarcastic person...
17 May 09, 01:18
CK: eh... yamaha
17 May 09, 01:17
mei en~ck: de tag is always like tat
17 May 09, 01:17
mei en~ck: and i think cloud
17 May 09, 01:17
mei en~ck: anyway,yr flute is wich brand? forget le
17 May 09, 01:16
CK: lol so good i not in band
17 May 09, 01:16
CK: really sia... wtf...
17 May 09, 01:15
mei en~ck: anyway,i nxt tues start band prac le
17 May 09, 01:15
mei en~ck: OMG! u serious?
17 May 09, 01:15
mei en~ck: u making me laugh
17 May 09, 01:15
CK: if i noe him he's gonna get it
17 May 09, 01:14
mei en~ck: hey..u chill out
17 May 09, 01:14
CK: im getting pissed more everytime i see that tag
17 May 09, 01:14
mei en~ck: why u wtf?
17 May 09, 01:13
mei en~ck: why is this sentence sarcastic?
17 May 09, 01:13
CK: wtf...
17 May 09, 01:13
mei en~ck: change blog skin
17 May 09, 01:13
CK: "Keep it up!=) enjoy yrself mre!!!=)" i shall say the truth
17 May 09, 01:11
mei en~ck: but why? i felt abit..in wad way?
17 May 09, 01:10
CK: i got the "feel" of sarcasm in that whole sentenc srzly
17 May 09, 01:09
mei en~ck: and u don stress up..i oso felt so. He tag til like very de..um..
17 May 09, 01:08
CK: eh... i propose not to say...
17 May 09, 01:08
mei en~ck: ****! tat is for ck
17 May 09, 01:08
mei en~cloud: oh..in wad way?
17 May 09, 01:07
CK: ps got too much ppl beside me always being sarcastic so i got some feeling to this
17 May 09, 01:06
CK: nvm... just got the feeling that cloud's sentence is quite sarcastic... lol...
17 May 09, 01:06
mei en~ck: and wad thing busy resting?
17 May 09, 01:06
mei en~ck: i catch no ball..
17 May 09, 01:04
CK: they were busy resting ar... lol
17 May 09, 01:04
CK: kind of have the sarcastic tone...
17 May 09, 01:03
CK: i shall not interfere but tht doesn't sound nice....
17 May 09, 00:48
mei en~cloud: i was thinkin bout what would u tag? Haix..
17 May 09, 00:47
cloud: heh. glad u enjoyed today! it was good. Seemed u had the courage to tell them after all. Keep it up!=) enjoy yrself mre!!!=)
What the hell man.. after everything i have done for her. this was what i got in return. Unexpected. Idk wat's gg on in this world. It seems tt kindness does nt beget kindness. Like wtf?
I mean I do not expect any thanks or watsoever from her. but how she sided him.. made me boil with anger..
How can she not see tt CK was in the wrond. fucking wrong? The wasy she took it out on me. Come on. ppl have eyes to see. When i rebutted CK, she said she's gonna kill me. When CK shot me back HARD!, what did she say? HEY CK, dont like tt. And like apologised to him 5 times? for FUCK?! okay lahx. it's seems like my fault lahx. I CANNOT SHOOT YR CK LAHX> YR CK CAN SHOOT ME LAHX. fine.
Why I bui song? WHY?? it's not cuz he commented on me being sarcastic. Tt dint really made me hot yet! The one which made me boil was he saying that I WILL GET IT FROM HIM IF HE KNEW ME!!
Come lahx. cb kia. knn. kpkb so much for wat? Wan Guailan rite? come lahx. Since u say want get it from you, COME RP FIND ME!! I'm in W15Q. COME! You wan guailan rite? i PEI u xialan! come lahx. CB. humji say dont wan waste time on me.
No guts dont come act big lahx. say wat ppl noe him also dont dare jio him one on one. COME! I be the 1st to jio him 1 on 1 lahx! wat?! now say "I dont break peace unless out of control!"
Dont come talk sai with me lahx. If He dint wanna break peace den in the 1st place already apologise abt saying behind my back. then everything ho liao wat?
He want chua daji den dont HUMJI. CB. wan GUAILAN but HUMJI. Go be sissy lahx.
Dui NAN REN DE LIAN!
Come on lahx. At last wat? tell gal such words, yr life isnt my business..
Such a BASTARD when MN's covering for him all this while.
I'm busy; she asked me tagged. Fine. i tagged. even went to read her blog. nvm. tagg already someone bo liao wan chui daji. nvm. I xialan with him. what i get from her? She scolding me off, in front of him. but to him, keep apologising. WTF okay? WTF!! What?? Dare to say sorry to him in our convo. dont sare say to me in tt convo also? Must say in msn? If she genuinely wanted to apologise, she shld have apologised to me in front of him too. WAT? behind closed doors apologise? What's the use? It's true u apologise lahx. I give u tt. but overall the whole picture. It makes me seem like the bad guy.
Fine, i be that bad guy. just noe long reconciling with her. and this happened.
b4 reconciling with her. I asked dennis; a church mate whom has been helping me out all these while. i told him abt my helping MN n stuff. and somehow she hated me. He told me not to care, tt girl got attitude problem. I chose to difer. still went back to talk to her. Nicely explain to her everything. Chose to seive out time to help her.. aft all this things... THIS IS WHAT I GOT FROM HER..
tt nite, i couldnt sleep until i had to blast music to keep me sleeping. I had never done it b4. I had never needed loud music to sleep. Tt nite was the only nite. One feels so hurt inside..
Was it a wrong choice to help her?? GOD hasnt told me.
Right now. good. If she really can see thru me so much, she should have seen thru CK long ago.
Let me tell u this, YOU have alrready been blinded by CK, always thinking CK's right, and I'm wrong, Even in arguement, CK's wrong, but you dint even try to stop him at all.
it's like for eg. you are wacked by some gals and you cannot defend yrself. Instead of me helping to stop those gals, I tell you not to wack back, not to defend yrself, let them wack u mre.
It's like tt. Come on. I had it already. YOU are blinded. tt now CK's trying to be tt hypocrite, u still remain clueless. I've nth to say, If u have so much negative tots abt me. Then fine, I wont bother u anymre. Cuz it's not gonna help with you constantly being blinded tt I'm the bad guy while yr CK is the bad guy yet his bad side totally remains invisible to u. Let me tell u why i say this.
U go n reflect. What he said yts. YR LIFE ISNT MY BUSINESS. and he doesnt reply anymre.
Yet aft suck a long time. He starts concerning abt u alraedy. "EXPLAINING' to u abt his harsh words. twisting n turning it. FINE. tt's even better, making me the most prominent bad guy here. What a crafty mindset. It's okay.
But to u. Let me just remind u. YOU be wary of him. You can dont trust my words, it's all up to you. Someday u'll noe; HE will play u out. U just await for tt day. I'll watch and see too.
Since tt is what u wan, I leave it to u. maybe our not being close can make u see truth in other ppl like yr CK. Again, sarcasm isnt what i'll do. esp to ppl i care for! this means u dont noe me well. At all. WTH!! I'm FUCKED, AGAIN!!
the choices we make...
Friday, May 15, 2009
THE SMARTIES!! 
ME and DEISI.
GAY PARTNER! LOL. RAYSON!
LOL. crap alot with Kat n Christ ytd. WALAO. WE all 3 DAMN funny.
HAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
LOl. Abt Eric. Den abt my "threat". den abt Brian. .. lol. List goes on.
the choices we make...
