Friday, November 14, 2008
Just in a span of 1mth, already counted the loss. Loss of close friend, stil okay. next up. Loss of Loved one.. MKTL.Will it be forever? anyway. haiiz. at home? what did i lose? Peace with family members. All happening in just 1 mth or even.. 3 weeks. Is GOD playing with me? taking away everything which holds so much value in my heart. Why does HE wants to take everything away frm me? To test me out? i'm already on the verge.. of doing things i dont wanna do. I had already done 1. n though i regretted. I guess tt was the only way to relieve the pain, the stress, the sadness that my heart crys out to me everyday.. but LIFE.. still goes on. I've decided to be a loner. Once again. Maybe tt's the only thing tt doesnt change. My shadow. Was my biggest mistake losing HER? I guess so.. Just like always, i keep hearing LOVE songs, seeing loving couples, Watching LOVE serials. All was unplanned. but expected. Esp love songs, They reminscince the times.. we both had. N without fail, my heart turn fragile at tt moment. like it's hidng in it's own shadow. Plasmolised in it's own body. Shrinking til 1 day, it's will be gone.. Alot of things happened too besides family stuff. n me n HER of course. Troy & Gabrillea.. Cloud n Melissa.. not.. Sadness bestows on me.
Probably SHE wont wanna see me again. No1 will noe hw hurting tt is. The pain in a fragile heart, is like a bomb in 1's body. Damage irreversible. so for the sake of HER happiness, i guess it's finally time to let go. Who's the puppet, Who's the puppeter? Am i being controlled, or am i in control? Uncertainty. 
Ate Ice-cream the other time! Twice went i went bugis. I was nice n tasty! Should Try! $3.8o per cone! and It's big! Durian Flavour rocks. The elmo family was frm bugis too..
Somethings bothering me too. I was asked to.. Be with sme1 again.. i dint noe what gt over me.. But my 1st reaction was NO. it wasnt like me at all. considering abt things n stuff. Considerng abt ppl's feelings. It seems like i have became stone-hearted? I dunno. Just very confused to what to do. Haiiz. 
Perhaps Work really takes thoughts off one's mind. Just started work today. Working in RI. what a school. Their school sure i big. Just 1st day of work n i had like mastered so many things. Form transporting books to ven being the regular cashier. My superior was a pretty nice lady. She taught me well. Jean's her name. Woah. Having to manage the cashier counter, the netts purchase n all. Not easy i can say. maybe tt's why it takes thoughts frm my mind.. Thoughts. Pictures like this stir thoughts into my head..
the choices we make...
