Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Was it a mistake, a wrong move i made making this decision 2 put down my dignity n accept Chiew's Ee invitation for my aunt's bday lunch date. It wasnt the food that i was fussy abt. Neither was it the unexchanged conversation like a simple hello i started out with. Nor was it the awkard silence and those stares tt make 1 look so foreign that's bothering me. Or maybe it does.. bt instead, The feeling of being so foreign. Either i seemed like a stranger to them. Or they seemed like strangers andUncommon people to me. We dined at hotel inn. Buffet lunch. 3 of my cousins were dere. They seemed fine with my presence. At least maybe I couldnt sniffed out their dislike towards me. But of course, the youngest was already starting 2 grew doubts inside her mind, like "He's here? tt's strange" tt sort of thinking. Nevertheless, the adults were no different. Especially e birthday gal. It was far too obvious; 2 be unnoticeable. Was presumming she had split personality? Maybe. Not a single word abt me she mouthed. Not even talking to me when i spoke to her. Nothing. Plain silence. Dead silence. Tt was maybe partly the reason why i regretted coming. the same foreign feeling just never fades. NOT A SINGLE WORD! not a single word.. Chiew Ee was still okay. Maybe out of all e adults. She was what it seems okay to me.. OKAY.. At least nt asking me questions which i expect them nt to asking me questions like "Where're you staying now" or "When're you planning 2 come home?" If I had 2 choose. Of course. Of course, None similar questions posted to me will be the best. But next wull just have 2 let this questions passed. At least it doesnt come in a package of sarcasm in it like what my biggest aunt questioned me. Or rather interrogated me. Like "How's your EXTERNAL freedom coming along? Obviously taken aback. just replied her. Like tt lohx. dint noe what to reply her. Anyway, me n my cousin were getting along quite well soon after. We kept talking abt psp games n stuff. Think tt's what connected us.. At least there was some subject we could speak abt together. At least making me feel less awkard.. Went to TAKA to shop den went to Plaza Sing. Me n Yixian were like browsing thru every shop on the top floor? Lol. All anime, manga! Went to arcade with him. Tried out some NEW game.. pretty cool overall. Had to leave cuz work starting soon..
So work started.. Working front of house today! Woots! Best Yet! Main Runner! Power! Love being main runner? Sending food stuffs n all. Send til hand pain cuz was like holding 2 pans per hand so max 4 pans! Haven tried holding 2 ultra big pans with just 1 small palm like mine.. Lol. Okay. so was fun. Aft work was like finding people whom i could sub! Wanna try to clock in 200 hrs this month! Best. Anyway. went home aft tt. Saw shermaine n nicholas on bus together... and with her MUM! okay. lol. Wrestled with yong at home. Lol. nth to do either. n 2mre's there n level result release date! BLESS THEM!! LOTS,.. lol. oh yahx. n peter was like calling me to complain abt his novena side de fish n co. lol. tt's all for today i guess. Gotta turn in early.. 2mre n e day aft have to do cashiering. Hope nth goes wrong..
aint hearing frm her anymre. Wondering if she has some1 else she loves now. Just have no faith in me.. in myself.... ....
the choices we make...
the IMPERFECTIONist trying to make THIS world PERFECT.